What's Important

  Last year I lost my best friend Kathy.  Kathy and I had been best friends since our first day of school in the sixth grade when we were eleven years old.  Kathy and I were friends through thick and thin, we were there for each other through boy crushes, first dates, high school band, slumber parties, breakups, heartaches, college, first jobs, for everything, she was my maid of honor in my wedding etc...We confided in each other, she was the sister I never had and vice versa.  Then one day, while I was painting our bathroom, I got a call from Kathy's cousin, informing me that my "bestie" was gone,  Suddenly, just like that, my world changed.  When I heard the news, I literally could not catch my breath to the point that Jason had to catch me, and hold me up, and all I could say was "Kathy no, Kathy no".  While I was shocked and distraught over losing someone so close to me that suddenly, it taught me to pay more attention and appreciate what I have, and the people I have in my life.
  I decided to use Kathy's death in a positive way, it made me realize that you get out of life what you put into it.  Over the years, Jason and I suffered through miscarriages, an injury I suffered in a car accident, my subsequent depression (caused by a combination of the miscarriages and being injured)and I had shut down emotionally, mentally at times, even physically, and pushed Jason away at times too.  Things got to where Jason and I would spend most nights watching TV or one of us on the computer and the other watching TV, and hardly talking to each other. It felt like we were two "zombies" just getting through each day. I decided to "tune out" and to "tune in" to my marriage/life, to appreciate the people and things I have, and not take anything for granted, because it can be gone "just like that". I started by doing something as simple as serving dinner on the dining room table instead of in front of the TV, so we could actually have conversation during dinner.  I decided to join the "wellness"program that my employer offers it's employees that provides you with your own personal coach who counsels you on nutrition, exercise, and provides you with psychological support when needed as well.  For the first time in a long time, I started doing things that I love again like art, baking fun cakes, planning little get away trips to places we've never been etc...  Focusing on what's important in my life has definitely made me happier and I feel that it's made my relationships with family, friends and especially my husband much stronger. 
  My "bestie/sister" is gone, but I feel like she is here in some way, and I know she's "up there" singing out of tune everytime a Billy Joel song plays on my ipod.  I just know it.

Reconnecting

  Each Friday night for the past few weeks, my husband has been taking me out for nice cozy dinners, just the two of us.  In my head I've been calling our Friday nights "date nights", I never told him I had a title for these nights (I didn't think he'd understand the idea of the "date night" title).
  I've been busy with the new tasks my brother has given me to help him with his business, and my husband works full time.  There's not a lot of time together during the week, so our Friday nights out have felt like reconnecting time (which is very welcomed).
  I know that sometimes our lives away from each other (our work lives) have a way of spilling over into our personal lives.  If my husband is stressed at work he tends to "bring it home" with him, he doesn't mean to but he sometimes has a hard time leaving work at work.  I am assisting my brother with his business from home so of course my work is at home, so my work life is home with my personal life.  I think we'd been letting work stresses get between us a bit too much.  I've thought this for a while but I didn't say anything to my husband, because I didn't want him to think he had a nagging wife on top of his stresses at work, no one needs that!
  But for the past few weeks we've had our nice dinners and been having deep, meaningful conversations with each other, holding hands while watching T.V, sleeping in together on weekends, eating breakfast in bed on the weekends, things we used to do when we were first married.  I feel we've been kind of reconnecting, and he's the one that started it!  Which makes it even more exciting and special.
  This weekend we didn't have any plans, so I thought it was going to be a really boring weekend.  We didn't do anything exciting.  Saturday we slept in really late, we went to a nice hotel for brunch (my husband's idea!), we picked out some new furniture together (instead of me going alone and picking it out, which is what usually happens), we ordered in pizza for dinner and rented a movie for the night.
  The funny thing is, after we ate our pizza for dinner, my husband said "let's spend "date night" upstairs and watch the movie in bed".  We snuggled up in bed and watched the movie together. 
  I know it sounds stupid, but I was completely stunned that he's been calling our nights "date nights" also, and this morning he asked "now wasn't that fun having "date night" upstairs in bed last night?"  Gotta love him!

Things I Love/ Favorite Things continued!

                                                                                                                                                                       I know my husband is not a "thing".  But this is my absolute favorite picture of him!!  I just love it!
  This picture was taken last summer in New York City.
  I can't explain exactly why this is my favorite picture of my "hubby"(he rolls his eyes when I say it's my favorite and he reminds me that I'm "weird")
  I think maybe I love it because it's a completely candid, unexpected shot, no posing or fake smile etc...The background is cool because it's New York City and he's just totally being himself.  Well, and the fact that after 
8 1/2 years of marriage, we;re more in love with each other than we were on our wedding day.
  Yeah, that's the reason!